Nate is sitting on my lap, kissing my cheek and telling me he loves me. He’s such night owl. While I was reading blogs he cut out cupons (just for the fun of cutting) and made dot to dot pictures of a camel and something else. We can’t decide what that one is. He also cut up some ribbon and asked me lots of math questions. He says over and over how much he likes to spend time with me. (That made me feel guilty because I was on the computer, but I took breaks to focus on him) That’s the one thing about having so many kids so close together; the one on one time is too limited. But, when I see him play with Willow and they both are giggling and happy, I see that there is a wonderful flip side.

My box of checks finally came today. Sophie got the box off of the stack of mail and opened it with one of her Ikea silverware set butterknives. She was really focused on her task (and it kept her busy while I prepped some veggies for dinner, so I didn’t interrupt her) and kept muttering to herself, “Chocolate, chocolate.” Boy was she pissed off when she got the box open. I let her keep the check register as a consolation prize.

Tomorrow my mom is taking Willow and me to Santa Cruz for a hair cut. I can’t decide what to do with it, but I do think it’s too long, especially for summer. Lexy has threatened me about doing anything drastic and John wants it to remain straight. (But let me say that he is not the sort to tell anyone what to do with their hair. I asked his opinion.) I am sort of ready for change, though. I don’t know. Last time (over a year ago) she cut off more than I thought she would and I sort of had little anxiety and panic attacks for awhile after. It is very vain of me, but I think my hair is the best thing I have going, lookswise, and when it went from down to my waist to just the middle of my back I felt really ugly. I am a total nerd to even care, I know.

Lexy did the shittiest thing EVER to Nate today. He flung a shovel full of really thick, goopy mud into his face. It covered his whole face, including his eyes. I can’t believe I didn’t just lay him out with a good right hook. I admit I wanted to. Instead I told him to go to his room and stay there because I was too mad to look at him. He ate dinner in there and did what he could of his homework (not much, I’m afraid) by himself. Nate got a bowl of marshmallows after dinner for dessert and he asked for a bowl for Lexy. I said, HELL NO, well, just NO, and Nate said, “Mom, it’s okay. He’s sorry now and he’s being nice to me.” I’m torn, again, between being grateful that Nate is so loving to his brother and wanting to tell him to make that shithead pay for what he did. I know Lexy was sorry. And he was tired and he’s had a busy week. But still, that was mean. Fighting I understand. The hitting they exchange is crappy, but somewhat normal. But I explained to Lexy that he had crossed the line. I hope he got it.

This is getting longish.

Willow’s doctor visit went fine, but my patience is thin. She weighs 16 pounds and 7 ounces and is 26 1/4 inches. She gained 7. something grams per day since we were there about six weeks ago. The doctor says, “Oh, that’s good, 7 grams is normal gain for her age, but she needs to gain 10 grams per day.”

Why??? She’s growing, not only that, she’s paralleling Sophie who was the only one of my kids to have a normal pregnancy and a totally uncomplicated birth. I think she’ll catch up on her own, and I think that putting powdered milk into cow’s milk to feed to her will just make her be where they want her on the chart by fat, not by growth. The girl has ankle rolls. She isn’t underfed. I’m curious where the 10 grams figure came from (uhhh, the doctor’s ass, probably). The good thing was that I asked the nurse to check Willow’s ears and they are not infected. Her molar popped thru and she’s mostly better, so I guess it was just teething illness. Remind me to go get the homeopathic teething stuff.

I’m thinking of promising the boys a trampoline this summer if they will sleep in their room without me. I’m done with the family bed. They are not.

Nate is sleeping in my bed now, and Willow woke up to nurse. I made banana pancakes today and she liked those. I made some plain, too, for the picky eaters. Sophie got all excited when I gave her the pancake. She jumped down from the table and ran (god, I love to watch her run. It’s the cutest) to her room. She came back with a plastic play spatula wanting to flip her pancakes up to the ceiling. I told her she could, but that she’d only get one replacement. Of course she flipped one onto the floor. But it was funny. Besides, Willow crawled under the table several hours later and ate it. Waste not, want not.