Window of Opportunity
Originally uploaded by Corbie.
What you can’t see in that photo is the canopy thing that goes over the picnic table that you can sort of see (blue and white, see it?) in the background. The squirrel was on the top of the canopy when I first saw it, and it was looking into the house to see if there was anything to eat or dig up. Cause they’ve exhausted the possibilities in the backyard. I told John and Willow to look at it, because it was funny, all checking us out. The next thing we knew, it was between the door and the screen and it was a little, uh, panicked, but think more panicked than you are imagining and you’re in the ballpark. It got in through a really big rip in the screen, and then climbed over every inch up and down and sideways of that screen, EXCEPT FOR THE EXIT. (dumbass squirrel) We are cruel and know that our place in hell is already being kept nice and hot, so instead of letting the poor thing go before it died of all the excitement, we had to take pictures. And, we almost had to pay dearly for that when Willow decided to slide open the sliding door to take a better look. I saved us by jumping over her and locking that door as fast as I fucking could. Cause, eeeeewwwww, squirrels are only cute from far away. I’m getting the shivers just thinking too much about them, and if one was lose in my house I’d totally be on the kitchen table clutching the broom and screaming and making little tiny stompy scared jumps in my sensible high heels (if I had any). I mean, did you see the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Those things are fierce. Do not be fooled by the fluffy tail.
In any event, John finally went outside and slid the screen open a foot or so. And, it ran in the opposite direction, then straight up, then down. Then, finally, it got out and sat on the back step for a minute, looking at us and hexing us with the baddest squirrel curses ever. Which totally won’t hurt us. We don’t speak squirrel.
There are more pictures if you want. Just click. *shudders*
That is awesome! I love squirrels from a distance. Up close? rats with fluffy tails.
“Squirrels are just rats with cuter outfits!” – Carrie of Sex and the City
I loathe squirrels, but I really hate birds. Especially the ones that decide to crap on my car every single day.
He is so cute. But, I am so glad it is at your house and not mine. Weird but I haven’t seen any squirrels in Japan. And we live in a very remote region. I have seen a bright red fox.
You must do this. Go to http://www.thisamericanlife.org.
Find episode 115, 11/13/98
Go about 19 minutes in to a piece called “Squirrel Cop.” Listen. Laugh.