Before I gripe about how tired I am, here are some pictures from Sophie’s birthday. I made the cake, which is supposed to be topped with a crown. Observe the much better looking cupcakes to the left. The teeny photos are her on her real birthdate, with the strawberry bread I baked for her.

So. I have LOTS to tell about our trip. John’s version will be more coherent, so read his, too.

Where to begin?? I got to sleep for hours at a time, only interrupted by the crashes and screeches and sirens of a big city. We walked everywhere, which I loved. I rode the subway for the first time. Ditto for Willow, who also ate at a Chinese restaurant at 2 am with her very responsible parents. We took a ferry to Ward’s Island, which was beautiful and like a movie set with its lush greenery and the several thousand pounds of fluffy floating dandelion like seedlings drifting everywhere and ending up in thick borders on the lawns of the totally cute colorful cottages. I want to live on that island when the kids are all grown and gone. John and I will bring in a winter’s worth of supplies and have a quiet and still few months watching the snow and waiting for spring.

We went to Toronto to see Current 93 play, along with Simon Finn and Six Organs of Admittance. The show was at a great old church, with a nice courtyard and garden that I spent lots of time in. I saw part of the show on the first night, but spent the next two outside with Willow, visiting with friends and the occasional concert-goer. I had a great time anyway; it was very relaxing. My friend Steve kept bringing me beer from backstage.

Willow really loved being out and about all day. We seriously walked miles and miles. We went to lots of record shops (of course) and restaurants and visited the Bata Shoe Museum, which I liked. A lot. I went to Kiel’s for the first time, and we hit the Lush store. Willow had a blast dancing to the irresistable drums of some talented musicians playing on the street.

We saw old friends who came from Portugual, London, Ireland by way of Norway, and Portland, Ore. Drove, from Portland! We met a couple who live and make art in Toronto. They were so nice to show us all (we took Willow, and met up with John’s brother, his girlfriend and our friend Matt) around, and made me wish I lived there.

We went to Trinity Church, so unexpectedly beautiful I almost cried when I walked in. It is where the Cowboy Junkies recorded this album, which is I think my favorite record ever. (They didn’t edit or mix or alter the recording.) My mecca, really.

I posted lots of pictures in a new little photo album thingy to the right.

I have to say that being back home is a little (okay, a LOT) hard. I missed the kids and I’m glad to be back, but, but, BUT, there’s nothing like having some time to yourself to realize that you usually don’t have time to yourself. Truth be told, I’m a little (okay, maybe a LOT) depressed. I need to get better organized so that I have time to rest and do things I want to do. I am noticing in a glaring way that I spend a huge chunk of my day preparing food and drinks for the kids. It’s nonfuckingstop “can I have a snack? can I have some juice? I need a glass of milk?” I think I need to make meal and snack times where I prepare food for them, set up some self-serve snacks like crackers and fruit and whatnot to last the day, and fill up some sippy cups for the little ones to keep in the fridge. If I can get the ice and water dispenser in the door of the freezer to work again, the boys could get their own water. I already keep the cups in a bottom drawer. It’s a start.

This pattern came in the mail. I am wishing for a weekend to myself and a sewing room full of supplies, but for now I’ll settle for working on it here and there. Picking the fabric will be fun. First, I need to finish the quilt I’ve got partly finished for Sophie’s dolls. It’s coming along nicely, though slowly.

Didn’t I say I was tired? I am. Very. Goodnight.