Every weekday morning my alarm goes off at The Crack of Crack, also known as 5:30 a.m. Until daylight savings started a couple of weeks ago, this was okay. I mean, I didn’t look forward to it or anything, but most of the time I was able to get up and be productive and all that. Yeah. Those days are NO MORE. The first Monday after we set the clocks, I slept in until 7. Then, on Tuesday – 7:15. Even now, more than a little bit into this change, I’m lucky if I’m up and brewing my decaf coffee by 6:30.
When the alarm goes off at 5:30, I reach over and slam down on the REPEAT ALARM bar across the top of the clock radio, and then I start doing snooze alarm math. You know what I’m talking about: I’ll sleep another eight minutes and make the kids cereal for breakfast instead of eggs. Eight minutes and another whomp later: I’ll sleep another eight minutes and put my hair in a ponytail after I wash it. Eight more minutes, one more whomp: Okay. I don’t really need to wash my hair today anyway. Another eight minutes: I’ll get ready TOTALLY fast. Really fast. Super super fast. Eight minutes later: The kids can eat breakfast in the car on the way to school. Eight minutes after that: Ugh. Eight more minutes: Eh, the kids can be late for school. Who cares? Not me? I only care about sleeping just a little more. Then sometime around 6:30 the alarm goes beepbeepbeep really fast which I learned the hard way is code for Get the hell up, I’m done repeating myself and now I am just OFF. And that’s when I get up and see that I’ve slept in too late and curse myself for having to kick it into high gear.
And I guess I don’t really have anything to say about all this, except for, you know, watch out for the snooze alarm math.