I have proof that I, maybe not everyone but certainly I, am descended from monkeys. I love to pick my kids’ noses and clean their ears, scrape off that damn cradle cap and get the gick from their eyes. I have licked my own fingers and used them to wipe their faces, but only in an emergency. Once, when I looked into Sophie’s ears with my otoscope * I realized that I couldn’t see her eardrum because there were huge chunks of earwax in the way. (And you thought mommy bloggers only talked about poop when they were being gross!) So, I made her lay her head on the floor and I got some really blunt tweezers, and I pulled out a piece of earwax the size of a full-grown snap pea. The other ear was the same. It was so totally disgusting, that I recently thought about not cleaning her ears much for awhile to see if I could do that again. And THAT is how I know that I am part monkey.
Let me completely change gears now. Tonight I went to run on the treadmill at the gym and I looked up at the tv and saw the closed-caption at the bottom of the screen. It made me cry, because my granddaddy was deaf, and at their house it was always on. He used to laugh at what the football players were saying on the sidelines. He was an expert lip reader! It still doesn’t feel right to say "was" when I talk about him. Time to go sleep.
*Have a baby or child? Spend thirty bucks to know if you need to go to the hospital in the middle of the night for that ear pain. You’ll be thanking me at three a.m. someday.