monkey mama

I have proof that I, maybe not everyone but certainly I, am descended from monkeys.  I love to pick my kids’ noses and clean their ears, scrape off that damn cradle cap and get the gick from their eyes.  I have licked my own fingers and used them to wipe their faces, but only in an emergency.  Once, when I looked into Sophie’s ears with my otoscope * I realized that I couldn’t see her eardrum because there were huge chunks of earwax in the way.  (And you thought mommy bloggers only talked about poop when they were being gross!)  So, I made her lay her head on the floor and I got some really blunt tweezers, and I pulled out a piece of earwax the size of a full-grown snap pea.  The other ear was the same.  It was so totally disgusting, that I recently thought about not cleaning her ears much for awhile to see if I could do that again.  And THAT is how I know that I am part monkey.

Let me completely change gears now.  Tonight I went to run on the treadmill at the gym and I looked up at the tv and saw the closed-caption at the bottom of the screen.  It made me cry, because my granddaddy was deaf, and at their house it was always on.  He used to laugh at what the football players were saying on the sidelines.  He was an expert lip reader!  It still doesn’t feel right to say "was" when I talk about him.  Time to go sleep. 

*Have a baby or child? Spend thirty bucks to know if you need to go to the hospital in the middle of the night for that ear pain.  You’ll be thanking me at three a.m. someday.

8 thoughts on “monkey mama

  1. jess

    Wow! I didn’t know you could actually buy an otoscope! And you know what to look for? I always told shane that we should invent something to allow parents to see if there was an infection! Really cool.

    I am a kid-picker too. Started with the baby noses.

  2. shannon

    E calls my monkey-esque habits my “grooming instinct”, as in “would you try to rein in your grooming instinct already!” when I’m picking at him or Gi. 🙂

  3. VenturaMom

    I have often said I am part monkey, so I totally get you. There’s nothing better than “grooming” hubby. My dd inherited it from me, too. She loves to pick the bark off trees.

  4. Dixie

    Since B can’t use his hands I have to be the groomer in the family. I’m forever picking crap out of his ears or whatnot.

    He would never let me do something like cram tweezers into his ears so I have to settle for ear drops and then flushing them out with warm water.

    Waiting for the wax to grow back. You crack me up.

  5. capello

    And I thought I was the only one who had their husband yell at them to get the (snip) off their back.

    I love picking my kids noses and ears. I also love popping my husband’s back pimples. Hey, now that I think about it, he’s probably due…

  6. Marv

    I’ve had a history of ear infections (pond water) and ear-wax problems from my earliest years. And when I was younger, the doctor removed the wax with a tool that had a loop on it, like bobby-pins (hair-pins) have. But never has one used any type of tweezers. Since I’ve gotten older, the doctors have flushed out my ears with a super-large syringe and warm water. My daughter inherited my ear problems. I wish I had thought about a otoscope back then.

  7. kelly

    when i was little well up intill i was pretty old my mother would use hydrogen proxide and then take a bobby pin and scrap it out she also used to do it to all the neighborhood kids ears i guess you can say she had an “ear fetish” and also when ever i’d go over to my aunts house she would ALWAYS make us let her clean out our ears i dont know why! But we were little and we had to! She would also scrap for a good 15 mintues in one ear, or untill there was nothing there and would make my ears gush with blood all the time! why do you think she would make us! but i’d never use that on my kids because it hurt like hell! someone please anwser why EVERY TIME we went there she would scrap our ears?


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