I think it’s great that schools focus on teaching kids to have good self esteem.  I have awful self esteem and it’s incredibly irritating.  Maybe “had” is a better way to put it, since I’m not as bad off as I used to be.  Anyway, my kids are a whole ‘nother story.  They are confident in their looks, fashion choices, hairstyles, opinions, breath freshness — you name it.  And sometimes, they really shouldn’t be.  Especially with that whole breath thing.  But, overall it’s good.  They like what they like, and peer pressure is not a deciding factor for them when it comes to choosing what they like and how they want to spend their time.

So one of the byproducts of this new generation of confident, secure children are the Student of the Month certificates and bumperstickers handed out by schools.  Lex works his tail off to keep his grades up, and so he’s been awarded his school’s Student of the Month award twice already.  I don’t put the bumper sticker on my van, because it’s kind of not my thing, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not proud of him all the same.  Each time he was given the award, I got a letter from the school (along with the bumpersticker) and he got a certificate.  We did have a joke going about how I was going to put the sticker on my van and then in sharpie write TWICE, BITCHES! on it, but really I would never. 

As much as they do stress self confidence at school, they go the other way on the whole neatness thing.  It clearly isn’t being addressed.  Or maybe I am just a bad mom when it comes to getting my kids to pick up.  It’s probably all me.  I’m sure it is.  At any rate, the other day Scuba was over.  The boys’ room was really messy and there were actually things in the hallway that had drifted out of their room.  One of the things on the hall floor was a Student of the Month certificate, looking a little sad and wrinkled and not matted and framed and hanging on the wall.  Scuba picked it up and handed it to Lex and said, What’s this?  Student of the Month?  You should put this up, don’t you want to keep it?  And Lex said, Oh, I have a couple of those, you know.  Ha!  Student of the Month certificates! I wipe my a– and here I yelled at him but he said it anyway and all I could think was WOW they sure are doing a crack job with the self esteem stuff over at that school. 

Other events from around my house lately:

Sophie: Hey Mom!  My friends and I, we were talking?  About how when you are thirty?  You can’t wear cute skirts anymore if they are short? 

Me:  Oh, I don’t know about that.  I’d MUCH rather you wear short skirts when you are thirty than when you are a teenager.

Sophie:  (Ignoring that)  And THREE of my friends said they want to have fashion like you and wear stuff like you do when they’re old.  THREE OF THEM.

Me:  (Quiet, and irrationally proud that the fourth grade set likes my style)

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Yesterday morning when we left for school we walked out the front door and the girls started freaking out over this:

I sort of freaked out, too.  The iPhone photo doesn’t do it justice, but all over the ground outside our front door were these little tunnel-top tracks.  Just like when Bugs Bunny travels domestically.  The one you can sort of see above was one of maybe six tracks.  And, DUDE, you’d think that aliens were standing there, the way the girls flipped out. 

Them: WHAT MADE THAT, MOM?     

Me: I don’t know.  A mole?  A gopher?  Ewwwww I hope it’s not a mole.  Freaky.  Ick ick ick. 

Them: Was it a RAT?

Me:  No.  *shudder*  Get in the car.

I still can’t think about it or walk past it without the shudders.  Even now, as I type, holy smokes with the shuddering.  I’m afraid to be out there, and you really should hear me yell when the kids leave the door open.  Lex wants to call an exterminator, but I can’t do that, either.  Maybe we can plug up the holes with Student of the Month certificates and shame it into finding another yard.