Narrowly avoiding jail time

I have a big calendar in the kitchen wall.  It’s a desktop calendar, with one giant month at a time showing.  Above the calendar and to the left, so as not to obstruct the view of our days, hangs a ziplock baggie filled with colored markers, library receipts, and little appointment reminders on business cards.  Everyone has their own color so I can just write the appointments down accordingly and not waste space writing names. 

This month there was a green "CDM" and a red "NAT BRDGS."  This translates to a school field trip to the children’s discovery museum for Lex and one to Natural Bridges in Santa Cruz for Nate.  I saw these trips coming, so I got both their class tee shirts washed and hung in the closet.  Nate wanted to get a disposable camera to bring on his trip to take pictures for a girl in his class who is out of town.  I thought that was really sweet, so I got him the camera last week.  He made a paper case for it that attached to his belt.   Things were in order and taken care of and up to date and whatnot.  All was well. 

Lexy went on his trip last week and had his shirt and his sack lunch
(with drink) and had a great time.  That same day, Thursday, Nate wore
his class shirt even though it wasn’t his trip day.  I said, "Hey, wear
a different shirt, your field trip is on Monday."  We were running a
little late that day and he really wanted to wear the shirt, so I let
him.  Of course I couldn’t find it anywhere this morning because I
forgot to deal with it or have him do so over the weekend because when I hung it up in the closet several days ahead of
time I crossed it off my mental list.  My mental list is long and has
lots of twists and secret knocks.  Once you’re crossed off, you are
crossed off.  It was okay, though, because Lexy has a shirt that same
color.  Nate cried a little, then he blamed me, then he got really
quiet when I yelled at him rather loudly that I told him not to wear
the shirt last week and that I was sick of people not listening to me
and I may have ranted awhile about how great the world would be if
people would JUST LISTEN TO ME!  AND DO WHAT I SAY!

I went to brush my teeth and get ready to head out.  I could hear Nate and Sophie playing and he offered to take her picture.  She thought that was great and said she’d also take one of him and off they scampered to the living room.  I went to check on them to remind Nate not to use all his pictures and I came upon a horrible horrible scene.  Nate was standing in front of the couch, facing it, looking through the camera.  Sophie was standing on the couch with her back to Nate.  She was also bending over and touching her toes.  And she was stark (and I mean stark, here) naked.  I dove across the room and snatched the camera out of Nate’s hand.  "DIDYOUTAKEANYPICTURES????"  I yelled?  "AHHHHH!  IF WE DROP THIS OFF TO GET DEVELOPED I WILL GET ARRESTED AND SENT TO JAIL! JAIL!!"

They just looked at me, blinking.  I guess that since nudity isn’t such a big deal around here, they were a little unprepared for my reaction.  I just wanted to make it clear that they could. not. do. that. because I don’t want to think about what would happen if there were pictures like that on film that I dropped off for developing.  That would be so very bad.   What if I’d missed that scene and dropped that camera off at the drugstore. 

It is times like this that I am thankful for my blog.  Because it helps me to laugh at all the things that are slowly driving me to the edge.

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