Sophie has always had a great mind for free association.  When she was little, she’d come up with the best insults ever.  Stuff like Monkey Underwear Pee Cheese, Mustard Butt Hotdog, Butt Hair Hat (I blogged that a long time ago and get mad google hits for that phrase. True story), and the vilest: Butt Hair Salad.  I just kinda threw up some.

And here’s part of an old post from when she wasn’t even four years old:

Heh.  Sophie is mad and came back here stamping her foot.  She said, "What is that sound!?"  And I said, "Hmmm, what is that sound?"  She said, "IT’S ME STAMPING MY FOOT ON YOUR BUTT!"

Then, there was this prayer she said:

Please Lord of the Flies or Jesus or God DO NOT let it rain on
Wednesday.  Or I will faint and go to heaven and you will see me
there.  Amen.    (That "see me there" part? A TOTAL THREAT)

Other things she’s done: toasted a Legolas LOtR card (yes, in the toaster), fingerpainted on the walls with her own poop (I bleached the shit — HAHA literally! — out of the walls), and used her own sock to drink water from the toilet. 

She’s totally going to thank me for this post someday.

Anyway — here’s a video (because I? am suddenly a vlogger or whatever it is) of her singing a song to me last night.  Yes, my bedroom is trashed, and YES that is a snake cage behind her.