Today I made my third ever call to 911. The first time was to report the downstairs neighbors who sounded like they were throwing cinder blocks at each other. I said I NEED FOR THIS TO BE ANONYMOUS and the police came and said, your neighbors up there called because they were worried about you. So, that didn’t go so well. They moved soon after and so did I, thankfully. The second time was when I learned that if you push down ANY BUTTON on a cell phone for over ten seconds (like, say if the phone is in the back pocket of your jeans and you’ve had too many cheese and avocado sandwiches, perhaps with a little mayo, and the pocket is a bit tight, theoretically), you will be connected with emergency dispatchers. You will then apologize so profusely that you waste even more of their time.
Today’s call was different, though. Today was about one of my kids. (Before I drag this out, she is fine.) I’ve called poison control twice, but never 911. Poison control calls: Lexy ate some make up (a prescriptives cover up stick) when he was a baby, and hmmmm, the second one I forget now, but I think it was Sophie-related. Maybe she ate soap? Today, though, was Willow-related. I wrote before about her lips turning purple. It’s happened about five or six times, that I’ve seen, that is. She never acted like anything at all was wrong, and until the last time, eight days ago, I wasn’t even sure if I was seeing purple lips or a shadow. By the time I’d notice and try to get a better look, it would have cleared up. But, last time was pronounced enough to warrant a doctor visit. The doctor gave us a cardiology referral, but said that with no other symptoms, it was an unusual thing. Probably nothing to be alarmed about. This morning when her lips turned bright purple and the area around her mouth looked blue and her fingers and part of her hands were purplish blue and cold, I did get alarmed.
I called 911. They were as helpful as they could be, which means that the people I spoke to were kind, but unable to advise me. I decided not to have an ambulance sent, because she was running and jumping and laughing and talking and playing catch with Nate. I took Sophie to her first day of preschool, calling my mom on the way and asking for her help. By the time we got Soph to school, about ten minutes after I noticed Willow’s symptoms, she was back to normal. I went back home – Sophie was so unconcerned with me dropping her off in a place she’d never seen before and I was grateful – and met my mom. We did the carseat shuffle, and then I took Willow to the doctor. I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom quits taking my calls the way I abuse her. She was headed to the office, but came to my house instead so I could take Willow to the urgent care. She left shortly after I did to drop off Nate and pick up Sophie within ten minutes of each other. In the rain. With a feverish and cranky Lexy who I bet was a pain about leaving his nest of blankets on the couch.
What’s wrong with Willow? Don’t know. Seems like X, but if it were X, it would last all day, not ten minutes. Seems like Y, but if it were Y, it would’ve been picked up on her earlier workup. Could be Z, but then she’d be agitated and tired while she turned blue. So, we’ll see the cardiologist, I hope sooner rather than later. The doctor today stressed to me that she’s okay and I don’t have to stay up all night with a flash light checking on her. Really, I don’t. I need to watch for it to happen again, duh, and time it, and notice if she starts having trouble breathing or if she squats down or seems agitated. I need to keep in mind what she’s eating; any nitrates, preservatives, medicines, and so forth. I need to see if it happens when she cries or is cold. I need to check her feet next time, and I think I’ll listen to her heart, too, if I can. We have a stethoscope from when we had to listen for her feeding tube air bubbles last year. Not that I know what to listen for, but I could probably hear an irregular beat, I imagine.
I held it together pretty well. I waited to really cry until late tonight, and that was just a mix of fear and of thinking of all the children that do have really horrible things wrong with them and how bad things happening to kids violates any idea that things are ever even close to being fair. The idea that her heart is not working right makes me nauseated, and it puts a cold spot in my stomach, but she’s happy and not stressed or hurting, so I hope that the doctors are right when they say that means she’s okay. He did tell me that anything serious or life threatening would certainly have stopped her from running and playing. He’s probably right. But doctors learn as they go, because there’s too much stuff that can happen with our bodies to know it all. I need to think he’s right though, or I’ll lose it.
Sophie LOVES school. LOVES it. I think Lexy has bronchitis; he’s running fever off and on and coughing with a little wheezy rattle at the tail end of it. Tomorrow will be his turn to visit the doctor, unless he makes a nighttime recovery.
Remember how I was thinking I’d get a job? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I haven’t even got one and I’m already fired for missing too many days. Between taking Lexy in for his arm/physical therapy, Sophie having some midevil stomach virus, Willow having two trips in two weeks for ear infections – plus today’s visit – and Lexy’s probable upcoming visit for his fevery cough ALL THIS MONTH, PEOPLE, I would have missed more days than not. So, I guess that decides it for me, for now anyway.
I think I ought to go check on Willow one more time – the light is on in the girls room – and get some sleep. I’m reading a good book, so that helps distract me.