A couple of not ordinary things happened to me today. Soph went to play at a friend’s house and the mom asked beforehand if I minded if she left the girls with her babysitter while she went to pick up her older daughter. I know the mom well enough to know she wouldn’t leave her children with a total knucklehead, so I said it was fine. She said that the babysitter was a he and was I okay with that. Absolutely, I said. That’s fine. I went to get Soph at 4, and no one was home. Then the next door neighbor (whom I’d never met) pulled up and said to me, I don’t think they are home. To which I said, Yes, you are right. I’m here to pick up my daughter. Oh, Sophie? he asked. They went to the school to the playground.
I thought that was where they might be, so we walked on down to meet them. The girls were with the babysitter, who turned out to be an older (maybe in his 60’s?) man. He saw us come in and say hello to the girls and asked if I was Sophie’s mom. I said yes, and he asked if all those kids were mine. Yes. They are all mine. Three are yours? No, four, I said. And he said,
You are rich with children! You are so blessed!
Do you know that is the first person I can think of who has had a genuinely positive response when they find out I have four kids? Usually I get looked down at, asked if I know where babies come from (you think!?), or get some version of the are ALL those kids YOURS? question. So, that was really nice and it made me appreciate my kids a little more since at the moment they were, well, mostly horrible, truth be told. Later on I took a big stick away from Willow when I was buckling her into her carseat, and she screamed at me furiously, tried to bite me like a shark with her mouth open and reaching for me and her head thrashing. Then, she grabbed a big fistful of my hair, bringing us nose to nose so she could scratch my face and she shrieked at me GIMME ME STIIIIIIICK NOWWWWWW! I HATE YOUUUUUUU! And, really, I laughed at her and said NO WAY, BABY! and thought that he is right. I am rich with children. In the way that sometimes gives you gout if you aren’t careful.
The second thing that occurred has to do with my
former husband. I try not to write about him since I don’t have permission and he would most likely not be happy with me. And I don’t I want him blogging about me, either. But, what happened tonight was nice, so I’m bending my rule. I won’t share specifics, but he told me about something that happened recently, and I really felt for him. And for a minute while we were talking, I saw all the things that I used to really love about him. No, I’m not anything like in love with him anymore; but it feels like we got part of our friendship back, and since we are raising three kids together, I think that is really really cool. Plus, I have a huge amount of love for his girlfriend. I encourage my kids to think of her as their mom along with me. She is mothering them on a regular (though not full time) basis, and she does a splendid job. She even buys Sophie totally cute clothes and lets her wear them back here. If you are divorced, you know that is huge.
Anyhow, I ought to sleep. Tomorrow night is opening night and I will need all the energy I can muster. I will post photos as soon as I can. I’m so proud of my boys.
That was very touching.
Are they ALL YOURS? Yes, I’ve heard that directed at my sister. They had three kids and decided to have JUST one more, but the joke was on them when she became pregnant with twins. The comments really picked up when she’d be out and about with her five kids plus our niece and nephew, all within 6 or 7 years of age. The looks she got!
Yes, you ARE rich. You’ll know how rich you are for sure when they’re grown. And you’re rich that your ex’s girlfriend is someone you trust and admire. I’m still friends with my son’s dad. I’m rich too!!
*sigh* I love how you make motherhood sound. Not all butterflies and roses or constant meltdowns but full of things that make life full and rich.
Boy, that line about Sophie getting to wear her new clothes back to your house really got to me. I’m glad your ex and his girlfriend are nice. You deserve niceness!
What a nice guy!
I love the fact that you have four kids and the fact that you have four children doesn’t define you. You define the very fabulous you. Um, did that make sense? It is meant as a compliment.
It’s so nice when a stranger touches your heart by saying the exact right thing. 🙂
That was sweet of him. I hope everyday someone says something nice to you, you deserve it.
That’s great that you can get on with your ex-husband. I wish my parents could find common ground in their children, y’know?