In miles of sharp blue water


I’ve been so busy it’s comical.  Still finding time to pick up my camera here and there.  I am grateful to have creative things to do that are sort of easy to fit into such a full life. 

The kids and I are getting into a routine that is suddenly centered around the AWESOME George Foreman grill my mom gave me for my birthday.  I asked for it, and she was all, Ooooookay.  Happy Birthday?  I’m now turning out halfway good dinners for my kids in 20 minutes or less and they are eating everything on their plates.  Happily.  That thing just simply fucking rocks and you should buy one.   When my pickiest kid says that dinner is better than a restaurant then the world should listen up.  Last night I made for myself (in, like, seven minutes) chicken apple sausage with grilled arugula and cherry tomatoes over brown rice.   The rice went in the microwave, but the rest went on The George.  I just threw a few handfuls of greens and tomatoes on with the sausage and let it do its magic.  </unpaid commercial>

I’m happy it’s autumn.  Once I said "fall" to one of my English friends and he delivered a lecture on how badly Americans have twisted their language:  Fall? He said to me.  How can you use such an ugly word to describe such a lovely time of year?  Only Americans would say "fall" rather than "autumn.  Fall?  Ugh."   I didn’t take it personally, because I pretty much agree with him, even when he’s being a snooty British bastard.  Next time he’s in town, I’ll have to really bust out the slang for him.  Maybe I will say that I’m finnin to leave, and has he seen that thing that I brang with me?  Or something. 

Anyway.  Fall.  Autumn.  Whatever.  It’s my favorite time of year.  My favorite moment in the fall is usually that first time each season when the sky is clear and thicker blue than the summertime sky and I’m outside somewhere and I smell woodsmoke for the first time.  I love being in the kitchen and hearing a football game in the other room.  I love it when the kids are playing outside and it’s a little cold so they have sweatshirts on and they run around until their cheeks get flushed.  The full moon is prettier, the light is sweet and honeylike, and to me it’s always felt like the real start of the year – a do-over three quarters of the way through the calendar.  I’m obviously starting over this fall.  Well, not entirely.  Lots of things are the same, or the same but amplified.   Maybe calling it a change of direction is more accurate. 

I’ve been wanting to do this since I first saw it, so here it is.  The bolded things are things I have et, and the plain text are ones I have not.  The strike-thrus are the ones I refuse to try.  I’m brave in other ways, I don’t need to eat a pig’s ass or something scraped off the side of the road. 

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee

1 thought on “In miles of sharp blue water

  1. furiousball

    my dad used to travel to Japan 6-7 times a year and the Japanese ask the chef to prepare the fugu by cutting close to the poison, you can tell because normally fugu is white, but if you see some traces of color in it, that means there is some poison in it. it’s apparently like a drug if you get just a little bit of it. my dad said he had one piece that was slightly tinted and he said his lips were numb for an hour afterwards


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