My doorbell rang; it was a sailor and a truck driver

and they were here to tell me to watch my language.

But I have a great excuse: head lice.

I spent $100 on lice shampoo.

Over the last 24 hours I have bagged up stuffed animals, barbies, dry-clean-only comforters, ugg boots, dress-up clothes, backpacks, lunchboxes, pillows, and carseats.  I spent six hours combing kids' hair, with my mom coming over straight over after work to help for half that time, which means that we put in NINE hours of nitpicking.

Also bagged were the skate/bike helmets which means that Nathan can't skate for two weeks.  He is not pleased.  At all.

I've made a few OMG I AM SO SO SORRY TO TELL YOU. . . calls.  So far, none of their friends have it (which is driving me crazy a little because where did it come from?)

The washing machine has been running nonstop, we've vacuumed the mattresses and the furniture, washed the slipcovers, and, as the kids overheard me say on the phone to SG, vacuumed the f*@^ out of the carpet. 

In the early afternoon yesterday, we got the living room all set and then put out a couple of blankets.  We took turns putting on the lice treatment, letting it soak in with all its toxic helpfulness* and then we rinsed it out and sat there and combed while watching Marley and Me which is unbelievability sad and left Lex, Sophie, and me sniveling messes.  Willow, on the other hand, loved it and has watched it three or four more times on my laptop while sitting in the hallway because none of the rest of us can stand to see it again.

The kids have been helpful, mostly.  They're sweet and say they like all the together time.  Willow lost one of her top middle teeth, and Soph didn't want to be left out so she pulled a loose tooth, too.  The Tooth Fairy showed up sometime around 5 a.m.  I hope that she had her hair pulled back; I'd hate for her to be distributing head lice all over the world. 

Time to stop complaining and get back to cleaning.  I shouldn't gripe anyway, because in about 24 hours I will be sitting on the beach in Hawaii with SG**.  That first drink with the little umbrella in it is going to taste really, really damn good. 

*Once upon a time, I may have been tempted to go with natural treatments, but no more.  When I found out we were afflicted, I went straight for the shit with the warnings all over it.  If this doesn't work, I am not opposed to dunking their sweet little heads in kerosene. 

**SG came by last night so I could check his head.  Thankfully, nothing was on it.  He brought me the underwater camera he bought me for the trip, and he helped out and talked with my mom and me for awhile.  My mom skipped her yoga class to come help, which I appreciate SO much.  After she left, SG looked at Sophie and said, You know what?  Today sucked.  Wanna go get an ice cream cone? 

7 thoughts on “My doorbell rang; it was a sailor and a truck driver

  1. feefifoto

    We had those little buggers last year; fortunately during the summer so we didn’t have to wash coats, hats and scarves along with everything else. I feel for you.

    I read somewhere that a spray of half water and half white vinegar can help loosen them. I had my daughter lie on the bathroom counter while I washed her hair, and then I combed for an hour, spritzing frequently with watered down vinegar, while we listened to Harry Potter on CD. It seemed to make the combing easier, and the cool spray was soothing.

    I blame Libby Lu for the infestation.

  2. Melissa Shouse

    All my kids are grown now but I remember going through the same process at least 10 times.Not only does it hit you in the pocketbook it takes many,many man hours.Ugg I feel your pain.

  3. Raechelle

    Oh, ack. I had my first head lice experience in my first year of motherhood (of two teenagers). It just kept going back and forth between the kids.

    There’s a commercial on the radio for HD somethingerother. It starts out “It is infinite….like head lice…” and I crack up every time. Because it’s true.


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