She knits, she fails

The yarn was so, so, pretty. 

It looked and felt like it was practically straight off the sheep, and as I knit I found little flecks of straw. (!) It sort of made me want to run away and be a sheep farmer in Wales, except I think that may possibly be the one way I could make things harder on myself right now.  But, you know, it was sort of idyllic, or something, to find the straw still in there.


Sadly, the hat that I made from the pretty, pretty yarn is almost the ugliest thing in the entire world.  If it were just a teensy bit uglier, then maybe it would sort of rock.  But, no.  It's just really, really, B A D.


The girls love it.  They call it the Clown Hair Hat and are locked in a ferocious battle over who gets to wear it to school first.  The loser is going to throw such a fit that I will have to let them duke it out only after I have opened my second beer tonight.

Now maybe (probably not) but maybe you are looking at the photo and thinking, Oh, well, it's not THAT bad.  Ugly, yeah, but you know, you could still wear it.  Maybe.

To that I say:


Wow.  Maybe I should unravel it and make a long, skinny scarf? 

14 thoughts on “She knits, she fails

  1. gwendomama

    can not stop laughing. not. stop.

    do not, i repeat, NOT unravel into a skinny scarf which will get lost or accidentally tossed into the washer and ruined.
    leave the hat and make them take turns.
    such a punishment for artistic failure. hee.

  2. Anonymous

    what the hell is that on your head? maybe you should drink before you knit? screw it – make the kids fight over it. then it becomes a commodity. and it will then have bargaining power. and then you win.

  3. Suebob

    I admire you for posting it. I sent it to the ladies at craftastrophe…I figure they might be able to do a real-life craftastrophe confession thing, since Schmutzie knitted a dead cat this week, too…

  4. Caren

    omg, so sorry for laughing but it is so hard to believe that THAT beautiful yarn could turn into that hat, wouldn’t have believed it but for the evidence, don’t know what to say except thanks for the best laugh I’ve had since I rewatched Little Miss Sunshine on Thanksgiving!

  5. Melanie Faulkenbury

    Awesomeness. At least the kids think it kicks ass? I love that the yarn had bits of straw in it! I bought some beautiful alpaca to make a cool felted camera strap, and well, let’s just say that I screwed up the felting, and had to change my design to salvage it (because essentially throwing out a skein of alpaca and a few hours’ worth of knitting just made me twitch). The best thing about FUBARd knitting? Makes for good stories (or really boring stories, depending on your audience).


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