lifted from Wikipedia

Usually when I think of the Wheel (of fortune, not the Pat & Vanna one, the Old Timey one), I think of it as having spikes.  You hang on to them as you’re going up and while you’re up top, and maybe you desperately try to climb back up them as you circle back down.  With any luck, you at least get between them as they find the ground, and you don’t get run through when you’re already down. 

I’m feeling like I’m both going up and going down all at once, and I’m not sure if I should be hanging onto the spikes or trying to duck between a couple.  Do we have a bunch of different Wheels, for different things in our lives, or am I maybe wrapped around the whole thing and getting it all at once?

Random.  I know.  And, agreed, maybe a little bit crazy-sounding.   I think that there is just too much happening for me to figure anything out and I’m left just going, going, going, and not getting it.  My days are a blur of getting the kids up and out the door, conference calls while I drive to work, days spent on my computer (never getting quite caught up), home again to feed, bathe, and read stories to the kids, and then to fall back into bed again, setting the alarm for 5:15.  Sometimes I sandwich in a yoga class between work and home, or a quick trip to the grocery store.  Then it’s the weekend, and I try to pack in a week’s worth of errands, of chores, of laundry and time with the kids and reading and projects and photography and cooking and resting and . . . there is never enough time and important things are left undone.  I’m really focusing on trying to balance things better — and I think I’m starting to see how to get there — but I am so not there yet.  I need to make myself a map: tiny little movements toward the destination of being mostly organized, of getting shit taken care of, of carving out time to just be and not worry.

2 thoughts on “Wheel

  1. mamadaisy

    oy, my days feel the same way. so long, never caught up, and always followed by another day the same way.

    lately, i am trying to do the same things but with a different and happier attitude. i occasionally succeed but often don’t.

    hang in there.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *