When being a New York Times reader didn’t work for me anymore (summer, 2024), I cancelled my subscription and switched to the Post. (Kept the NYT cooking app, tho!) Later, when Jeff Bezos wouldn’t endorse Kamala Harris, (as W. Kamau Bell said recently, by way of Rebecca Solnit, It’s a chess move, not a valentine) I immediately canceled my subscription and deleted the app from my phone. Turns out, Democracy didn’t die in darkness, it’s dying because we used it to elect fascists.

When he then posted that gross congratulatory tweet after the election, I saw that a lot of people were canceling their Amazon Prime subscriptions. I didn’t. Maybe I handled it backward? The shallow truth is that having Prime is useful to me (I have a bunch of purchased media there, subscriptions, I’ve used it for over 20 years, blah blah), and seeing the Washington Post makes me mad. Starting next year, our new fascist regime will get to work dismantling media outlets that don’t promote their backward and deadly policies. Bezos has signaled that he’s falling in line, so maybe the Post will still be around and maybe there will still be journalists there who are fighting the good fight, but they’ll be swimming upstream to do it. Scuba subscribed to the New Republic, which is definitely my speed, and I think we’ll even be getting a print version.

One more thing: I’m not as well read as I ought to be, so this was new to me even though it’s widely known. Anyway – look what we’ve proven out:

The paradox of tolerance is a philosophical concept suggesting that if a society extends tolerance to those who are intolerant, it risks enabling the eventual dominance of intolerance, thereby undermining the very principle of tolerance. This paradox was articulated by philosopher Karl Popper in The Open Society and Its Enemies (1945), where he argued that a truly tolerant society must not tolerate those who promote intolerance.^[2] Popper posited that if intolerant ideologies are allowed unchecked expression, they could exploit open society values to erode or destroy tolerance itself through authoritarian or oppressive practices.

It’s nearly impossible for me to think about anything else at the moment, but I did get a bit of a break at pottery last night, so I’m planning to get to the studio more often.

Well. Things feel truly terrible. I cannot seem to think of anything else. I stayed up late last Tuesday night, late enough to know. When I finally went to bed a little before 3 a.m., I opened Instagram and saw that the first two stories lined up at the top were from my girls. I rarely look at stories—it’s a time warp I try and stay out of. But I clicked on them. They’d both posted voting information and encouragement during the day, reminding people that in California you can register at the polls, and please, please vote. It’s so important.
Seeing that was so painful and sad.

It seems like what’s left of any sort of reasonable media might be first on the long list of things they will work to destroy. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything to stop them. And aren’t these the stories we grew up on? Evil forces in charge, dooming the future of humans and the planet, the rebel alliance working in secret to defeat them.

I have nothing original to add to the general discussion around this election. It’s no shock that I’m vehemently anti-Trump (because I’m not at all into fascism, duh. I feel rather badly for actual republicans who have no candidate to vote for). However, there’s this: Four years ago, I took Soph and one of her besties to vote in their first presidential election, and yesterday they went and voted together again, took photos, and shared the 2020 photos along with the ones from this year on social media.

I was cleaning up/looking for my Poppa’s old Land Camera (it’s here, but I’m not sure exactly where I stashed it) because I found two packs of black and white Fuji peel apart film. It expired in 2011, but since they don’t make it anymore, and probably never will again, that’s kind of it. There’s this, but my photo skills don’t merit the price (plus I think it’s hard to get). I’d love to plan out some photos with this precious Fuji film it if it’s still any good. ?

While I was looking for the Land Camera, I found my old Sony Handycam and a box of 21 Hi8 tapes, I think from around the time Alex was born in 1996 or so until the early 2000s. I’m pretty sure I’ve never watched any of them, so I charged up the Handycam to see what was there, and Oh, my heart. The first tape I put in was from maybe 2007. The kids (Sophie + the boys) were doing a summer theatre camp at the park, and I’d taped a performance that I have no memory of. Not even a little bit. But it’s very cute and Willow’s in it, too, saying she didn’t like the show. Then Willow and Sophie and I watched one from Christmas of 2003, the year Willow was born, and a little bit of her first birthday party that next February. Watching them made me feel like I was in a down elevator with no bottom, you know? And kind of depressed, but also really happy. I don’t know, it’s a lot. Time went too fast. I’m getting a little device that will let me convert them to digital, so maybe this will become a bit of a mom blog again?

Here’s a very nice thing to remember: The Polaroid I made at Cathedral Rock was featured on the Flickr Explore page and I got really sweet comments from people. : )

I remember my grandfather always said ‘making’ or ‘made’ instead of ‘taking’ or ‘took’ when talking about photos. This could be why:

I met a photographer when I visited Taos Pueblo who told me that her grandmother knew Ansel Adams and Georgia O’Keeffe when they were spending time there. She had nothing nice to say about either, telling me they’d been asked by residents to leave. To not use their cameras and paintbrushes to capture what wasn’t theirs.

Ultimately, her paintings and writings make clear that she saw the region much as countless others had before: as both deeply informed by the presence and history of its Native peoples and as open, empty, and ripe for claiming.

There’s making a photo, and then there’s taking one.

I’m pointing this finger at myself as well. I took a LOT of photos when I toured Taos Pueblo and once I thought I was going to get arrested in Spain for taking photos in a cemetery. The guard made me delete my entire memory card and show him it was blank. We learn as we go. Hopefully.

It’s Polaroid Week and I remembered! I did start a day late, but that was a misunderstanding on my part, not because I forgot. Tiny victories and all that.

When I told Grace that I’d never been to Yosemite she was like, Wait, NEVER? You’ve NEVER been there? I’m taking you! Within a couple of weeks she scored reservations for us at Camp Curry and at the end of September, off we went. I can’t believe I’ve lived so near to the park for most of my life and never visited before, but it turned out perfectly—I had the best time getting to see it with Grace (and not just because she is patient and listens to me talk (and talk and talk and talk and talk)). If you’re lucky enough to have someone in your life who you’re perfectly comfortable with, no matter what, and if that someone is funny and smart, a fabulous storyteller and generous with their time and their snacks and coffee and hiking poles + gear, then you know what I mean. But EXTRA to all that, Grace used to live in Yosemite Village, SHE CLIMBED THE NOSE OF EL CAP (!) and she is full of great stories about the park and the dirtbags (loving term!) who play there. It was an enchanted, magic few days and I’m not in any danger of forgetting them.

Unrelated stuff I’m sticking here so I don’t forget: this recipe is a keeper; this is the website I’ll be looking for when I start my embroidery project in a couple of weeks; I want to watch this movie; make these at pottery; and for the next few Mondays there are new episodes of My Brilliant Friend. See you next time I remember to update!

I keep forgetting stuff lately. Recent example: In April of 2023, I finally renewed my passport that expired in 2017, ten years after I went to Spain for a really quick trip. But the other day, I forgot I’d renewed it, which is alarming since it had involved checking for open appointment slots every morning for weeks, finally getting one at a little library 40 minutes away and then really enjoying the little library and the tiny scrap of orchard they’d preserved in the courtyard. Anyway, Scuba and I were talking about taking a trip, and I was like, “OMG I have GOT TO renew my passport!” and he was like, “Yes, please do!” And then slowly I started to remember that maybe I had? But honestly I wasn’t 100% sure until I looked where I keep all our birth certificates and immunization cards and passports. Mine wasn’t there, but then I remembered it was in my desk and even when I found it, I wasn’t sure-sure that it was mine until I flipped to the photo page.

I remember things better when I write them down. It’s always been true for me. So, for the sake of my stress levels, I’ll start with today: I woke up early, at 5:20, made coffee, and read to almost the end of By Any Other Name (Jodi Picoult – I am pretty sure I’ve read a few of her books, but, omg I don’t remember). Went for a 4ish mile hike on the creek trail with Scuba, watered the plants and changed the bed and then got back into both my pajamas and the bed and finished the book, which made me cry. A lot. I think I’m a little depressed? I like the Emilia Bassano theory! I was riveted and read it in like 2 days even though it’s 528 pages. What else? It was dramatically cloudy today but didn’t ever rain. I made some really good hard boiled eggs* to go in the giant salad we made for dinner. I put away almost all my laundry, until I ran out of hangars. I got a new kind of coffee to try since I like their espresso so much. So boring, but also exactly the kind of stuff I like. Now I’m going to find a story I haven’t heard and listen to it while I work on the sleeve of this sweater I’m knitting until I fall asleep. And maybe sometime down the road, I’ll come back here to find what that book or that coffee was called, or what the hardboiled egg method that works every time is again.

Edited to add: To further prove my point, I wrote this on 10/27 and forgot to post it. Chef’s kiss!

*What makes a “really good” hard boiled egg: No green edges on the yolk. Easy to peel. Tiny little lentil-sized oozy bit of yolk in the middle. I generally prefer a jammy soft-boiled egg, but not on a cold salad. Ew.

Yes. Day five confirmed.

Thanks to market saturation and personal anxiety, there’s no original commentary I can come up with during these unprecedented days. I started to write a fairly detailed post on Facebook about what’s going on at our house and then remembered I actually have a blog for that, so, Heeeeeeey, there. I’ve missed you. Lots. 

I’ve been working from home full-time for years. More than five for sure, but I don’t remember exactly how many. You’d think that would mean living under a mandatory shelter-in-place order wouldn’t really be so different. Or maybe *you* wouldn’t, and it was just me that thought that at first and then was surprised by how uphill both ways this work week was. Lemme be clear: we have all we need, more than we need, honestly. We’re fed, housed, and have health insurance , internet access, and cable tv. We are lucky to live in California where our local and state government took quick action to reduce the fallout of Covid-19 by ordering everyone to stay home. Scuba and I are both working, the kids are not, thankfully, since they work with the public, but they’ve all got some cash stashed away to keep them in art supplies and snacks for the time being. I’m grateful and giving back as I’m able.

The last time this happened, 102 years ago, my mom’s parents weren’t born yet, but my dad’s father was small, about 5 when it began, and my dad’s mother was born in August of that second year, 1919. This means their mothers, my great-grandmothers, were experiencing the same anxious worry I am now, minus the cursed blessing of the 24-hour news cycle. I’m feeling extra connected to them, and since I’m sold on epigenetics, I know some of my programming on how to care for and love my own is thanks to them. I acknowledge that I’m weird. I’m confident hopeful my kids will stay healthy through this. They’re the opposite of the ignorant, murderously selfish college kids insisting on packing the beaches and bars of Florida for spring break. Instead they’re home, glued to their phones for companionship and information, cooking and eating together, sharing memes, playing video games, getting enough sleep for once, and offering to lend support and resources to their peers, which includes turning down invitations to hang out (even though I know they *really* would love nothing more). I grew some fine humans.

Next week, Willow (omg, you guys, she’s the only one still in high school now) will have some classes start back up online. I wanted to share this amazing response from her school (it made me cry, I was so grateful. Don’t get too excited, tho, I’m always crying):

Good morning,

I know you have been bombarded by emails, updates and information so I am hoping I can provide important information in one email. This was sent to students and parents through School Loop and will also be posted on the page we created for our website. There Is a pop up on the main page and it can be found under About Us. We will continue to add to it as we gather more information and resources. And thank you all for being such an amazing community.

What we don’t have answers for:

How long we will be closed: This will be something fluid until it’s not. There is much conjecture about how long schools will be closed. If we get word that it will be longer than the current time, there will be adjustments made to how we approach instruction. Our district cannot make this decision, it will be made by the state.

Grading: The current work is supplemental and meant to sharpen skills and keep students academically focused. The work will not be graded. Students who were absent or have a D or F can work with their teacher(s) on turning in missing assignments, taking assessments or other things that can improve your grade. We will determine how the six weeks grades will be addressed during discussions next week.

CAASPP/SBAC:The State Superintendent held a press conference regarding the possible cancellation of the standardized testing for this year. We will know more soon.

SAT/ACT: Tests for this spring have either been cancelled or rescheduled to the summer. We don’t know if that practice will continue.

Sports: CIF is taking a “wait and see” approach at this time.

Senior Awards: We will reschedule to a later date if that is necessary.

Graduation: It is too early to know if this will be impacted.

AP Testing: We are waiting for an update from the College Board.

Things being offered or will be offered:

Hangout with an Admin: Your Admin team wants to do whatever we can to stay connected to our students so we will offer several Google Meet opportunities to answer questions and provide support. Here is the LINK for Friday at 2:00pm.(Really it’s because we’re going through withdrawals and miss being around the kids.)

Videos on “How To” be an adult, college and career readiness and information: We are working with parents to help us put together some “Adulting” learning opportunities around cooking, sewing, finances, mindfulness, and college/career readiness.

Resources for mental health support: We will be sharing/sending/posting ways to take care of yourself and build good habits for coping with stress/anxiety during any time that is challenging. Here’s a short article with suggestions. If you find yourself struggling emotionally, please reach out to your parents, your counselor or your AP. We have access to our CASSY and Uplift counselors and we can connect you to them.

Impact Driving Webinars: The CHP is offering two webinars for current and future drivers. This is a great opportunity for some different learning. Click the link for the date that works for you and register. I highly recommend parents join their students.

Monday March 23

Thursday March 26

Things not to worry about:

Getting a diploma: If you are a senior passing your classes and are on track with your credits, you will get a diploma. We will not have a class of seniors who leave high school without a diploma.

Colleges rescinding acceptances: Colleges are very aware of what is happening around the world and as long as you work to maintain your academic standing based on whatever we are offering as far as your academic learning, your college acceptance will be fine.

Things to focus on:

Doing the assignments provided by teachers diligently: Stay connected, even though assignments will not be graded. Learning is a muscle and habit that you have to maintain during this time. Participate in the Google Meet Tutorial time and complete the assignments.

Maintaining a schedule: Follow the schedule HERE to maintain habits and routines in your day.

Having “no screen” time during the day: You have got to step away from your screens for at least a few hours in your day. Take a walk, bike ride or hike, read a book, listen to music, cook, meditate…whatever shifts your brain and your eyes from staring at a screen. (Yes, I realize the irony of staring at my screen while I type this.)

Exercising: You need endorphins to help elevate your mood and to stay healthy. Exercise helps your body stay healthy and fight off illness.

Maintaining social distancing: While doing all of these activities, be sure to practice social distancing. We all have to work together and do our part in slowing the spread of COVID-19

Updates and Clarifications:

Schedule with new language: The schedule linked above has some changes to the language to help make it more clear. Students will have access to and start work on Monday March 23rd. The first “Tutorials” will be on Tuesday, March 24th.

How to use a Google Meet: You can use Google Meet on your laptop or your phone but you must download the Google Meet app not Hangout. It is better on a computer. Your teachers will send you a link in email or post it in School Loop, Google Classroom or Canvas depending on what they use. This will be used for the “tutorial” times in the schedule to get help or ask questions.

How to behave on a Google Meet: Google Meet is a forum where multiple people will be communicating. There are expected behaviors and rules to make the time safe and productive.

Keep your microphone on mute unless you are speaking

Use the Chat to the side for attendance and to ask questions of the teacher

Chat is not used for student conversations and any inappropriate language or comments which will be followed with removal from the Meet and a referral sent to APs

Focus your questions on schoolwork

Be respectful of airtime to give everyone an opportunity to speak and get help

Schedule for Schoolwork and Support

	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thurs
Morning 9:00-11:00	Staff Collaboration, Department & Teacher Team Meetings	Tutorial (All teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	VAPA/Physical Education Classes (VAPA/PE teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	Tutorial (All teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	CTE/Special Programs + ASB + AVID Classes (CTE/ ASB/Special Prog. teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)
11:00-1:00	Lunch Food Distribution 11:30-1:00	Lunch Food Distribution 11:30-1:00	Lunch Food Distribution 11:30-1:00	Lunch Food Distribution 11:30-1:00	Lunch Food Distribution 11:30-1:00
Afternoon  1:00-3:00	Science Classes Tutorial (Science teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	Math Classes Tutorial (Math teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	English Classes  Tutorial (English teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	Social Science Classes Tutorial (SS teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)	World Lang.Classes Tutorial (World Language teachers available through Google Meet for 45 minutes)

Note: Teachers who teach in multiple departments may select their afternoon “tutorial” time based on which department makes up the majority of their classes. Example: An AVID teacher who teaches primarily English will host “Tutorial” times for both their English and AVID students on Tuesday/Thursday morning and Wednesday afternoon during the English time.

Students should be adhering to this schedule as much as possible to provide structure within their days. The times noted for subjects should be when students are completing assignments, making up work, and connecting with their teacher(s).

Students who do not have a particular class (9th graders don’t have Social Studies…) should be working on other aspects of their learning or taking a break from screen time and participating in activities that build skills (ie cooking, reading, gardening, meditation) and support you.

Thank you for all you are doing to support your student(s). We will continue to provide information as we get it and resources as we identify them.

It’s likely school won’t resume till August, which is when Willow’s senior year is due to begin. But, maybe they’ll go back in May or June. We’re ’till further notice’d on our whole lives right now.

Okay, so, specific to our house and today: For the last three days Willow’s had a mildly elevated temp. Up to 99.8 at the highest, and 99.3 or so pretty frequently. Then hours of normal, then back slightly up. At the start of all this we kept hearing that kids can have very mild symptoms, so we worried that maybe she was exposed and had a light case? Maybe. Poor kid was understandably shaken, still is. Today, though, we were able to have a video chat with her smart, lovely pediatrician who is 100% sure that she’s fine. I feel better. So much so, that John and I ventured out to Trader Joe’s to stock up on groceries (not gonna lie, we bought lots of beer and potato chips). TJ’s is running a tight ship, with a monitored , Personal 6 Foot Bubble Rule line to get in, a limit of 2 each on all items except flowers, and a cap on the number of shoppers inside at one time. We used our own grocery bags rather than a cart and paid via Apple Pay to reduce exposure, and I still basically held my breath the entire time inside, just taking shallow sips. My brain knows I’m okay. My body hasn’t gotten the message, and I feel as tense as I did in the days following the 2016 election.

I’m planning to capture as much as I can. See you soon. Stay safe.