Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother

If you have ever spent more than ten minutes with me, you likely know that I’m addicted to those tiny little sugar free Altoids mints.  I usually buy two packs at a time so I won’t run out.  But, apparently I am not the only person who is hooked on them, because the last two times I went to buy them at my usual spots they were sold out. 

And, now, I’m out of them.  As a result I’m all cranky and irritable.  MORE cranky and irritable than normal, that is.  I’m going over all those times when the kids asked me to share and I said yes.  If only I were stingier, I’d have run out later than I did.

About an hour ago, I got into the van to go pick up Willow.  There on the floor of the van, not quite but almost directly under the gas pedal, was one little partly-sucked, lint-covered mint.  I think this was probably one of Sophie’s.  She sometimes is overcome by the peppermintness and spits them out.

I picked the mint up and took a good look at it: it was, to resurrect a perfectly good eighties adjective, grody, but I was desperate and so I scraped it clean and put it in my mouth. 

As if that weren’t bad enough, while I was driving I was scanning the radio stations when I heard The Brothers Gibb singing Stayin’ Alive***

Not only did I not change it, I sang along.  Even on the "stayin’ aaaaaliiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIve" parts.  And?  I liked it.  It made me remember the times that my best friend and I made up dance routines to that album, all the while cursing our seven(or eight? maybe nine. . . )-year-old ness for keeping us out of the theatre to actually see the movie.  During one of those sessions, we decided to sneak into her oldest brother’s room to borrow his electric guitar so we could sing Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog.  We found a note from his girlfriend that recounted, in loopy, bubbly seventeen-year-old girl cursive, the night that he’d seduced her on her parent’s couch.  We both pretended that we knew what "seduced" meant.  I remember the day I did learn what it meant that was the first thing I thought of — that love letter written on a piece of torn out binder paper and folded up into a neat little square.

***This website has a link to some place that says you can "sing this song with a PC karaoke player!" 

12 thoughts on “Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother

  1. mamadaisy

    my sisters and i had an elaborate dance routine for the entire Grease album. much fun!

    and um, i don’t think the 20 second rule applies to that particular mint.

  2. Eve

    Totally love the altoids, but mine are the *original*. I eat them like the candy they are sometimes two at a time. I ran out in class tonight. Very fidgety afterwards. Do you suppose there is crack in there?

    My friend Susan and I made up dance routines to disco songs, too. I’m so there with you on being angry about not being old enough to go DO that stuff anywhere but at home. I remember almost puking with envy when I saw a couple of kids younger than me on Denny Tario’s (sp?) show.

    We so obviously grew up in the same era. So weird to know that it was so similar even so far apart.

  3. jen

    love it. the whole we are so grown up yet not grown up at all.


    altoids…i’ll keep an eye out. neighbors do that sort of thing.

  4. supa

    get OUT! I just heard that song on the radio yesterday morning AND I was going to write about it AND I was going to use the same title.

    But I am too lazy. I love hearing little gems like that, though.

  5. Amber

    Oh, how I wish I was of that generation. I just did a post about our idols of years past and sadly, the majority of commenters professed The New Kids on the Block. A very sad tale, indeed….

  6. michelle

    seriously jen, grody to the max!! eewwwww. you might consider “altoids anonymous”, hun. i say this purely out of love. :o)

  7. Susan

    Oh, I love those mints. And I can’t find them recently, either.

    So I bought the regular ones, and they’re icky. Bleah.

    Now I really really want a sugar free Altoid.

  8. Trish

    Hi..on a serious note..I really am addicted to Altoids. I can eat up to 4 tins aday..about 2 in one hour. I’m very concerned. I was recently diagnosed with anemia and Im wondering if it has anything to do with this illness. I understand you get urges to eat strange things like ice, clay and starch. Altoids is starchy and cool like ice. My girlfriend has a friend that has Anemia and eats ice chips all day long. Do you have these urges?!!

    I’ve been doing extensive research on these mints to see if there are any addictive ingredients..but to no avail. This can’t be a good addiction. Ofcourse there worse addictions out there..but i just know that in the long run there might be some sort of side effect.

    I just asked my sister to buy me two tins from seven eleven..and I’ve eaten one tin in less than 30 mns..and as I type i’m on my second tin. This is nuts.

    Please share your addiction with me…because this seems quite uncommon.


  9. Nisha

    Ss i was looking for fellow altoid enthusiast( still won’t admit i’m an addict)and i came across this blog. Initially I thought I was crazy but its nice to know there are other like me too. Don’t know what it is about those altoid peppermints but i can’t seem to get enough of them!


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