Yesterday morning at breakfast Willow started choking on her food. It was pretty scary, because there were moments where she wasn’t making any noise. She finally got herself sorted out and of course I got a little teary. Nate and Sophie were still at the table eating their breakfast and they each had their hands around the front of their necks in a slightly different way as they fought over the proper sign you’re to make if you are choking.
The neighbor that I share walls with and have a huge grudge against (I haven’t written about it, because she got threatening with me in both legal and policeical ways) offered Nate the fantastic opportunity to mow her yard for two whole dollars. While I was still rocking Willow in my arms and kissing her forehead, Nate was telling me about it:
Nate: Mom! Amber offered me two dollars to mow her grass!
Me: Uhhh, dude. I don’t think you know how to operate a lawn mower? And? TWO DOLLARS? Seriously?
Nate: You think I should ask for three?
Me, thinking: WTF? Betch should have asked ME first! Two bucks? the hell?
Me, outloud: Well, I think you should really think about it. I pay our yard guys more than twenty bux a week to come do our yard.
I’m supposed to go to a class tonight from 7 until 9, but I totally dropped the ball and didn’t arrange childcare. Tuesday just kept seeming so far away, until this morning when I was waiting for my coffee to brew and writing the kids’ chores for today on the calendar in the kitchen. I actually said, Tuesday, you totally snuck up on me, good one! to the calendar. Or the wall. Or maybe to Tyr or Tuesday Weld, who Willow looks the tiniest bit like. Anyway, here it is: Tuesday, and not only do I not have childcare for tonight, I have no clue how Sophie will get to soccer practice this afternoon. I’m thinking about asking my next door neighbor to drop her off: Hey Amber, if I give you THREE dollars, will you take Soph to practice?
I think that in these situations, the only logical thing is to build a trebuchet and point it at her house.
What you need is a wife!