I came to a sad realization today. Not tragic sad or anything, but more of an I’m really sorta lame sad way. I’m ready for the time when the kids are all a little older and I find myself spending lots of time sitting in the car waiting for them to finish school or practice or lessons, or post bail or whatever. I want to sit in my car with a cup of coffee and read or listen to the radio or cd player while knitting. It’s a shiny, lovely dream for me on days like today, when I wait for the boys to get out of class while Willow and Sophie are squaking in their car seats, entertaining themselves by smashing crackers into different types of surfaces and seeing how far they can throw cups of milk. Of course in this daydream I am also rich and thin. Seriously, though, I have what my friend calls “burnt out mommy syndrome.” I look forward to waiting rooms and dental visits if I can just go ALONE. I love my kids. Love like I never knew was possible. But, they do suck the life out of you just by the nature of their being, and I really think that applies to my children a little more than most. That said, I wouldn’t change a thing about my life. I just want to sit in the car.

I finished the washcloth. It’s wet or I’d take a photo of it. It’s not the most beautimous thing ever, but it’s almost shaped like a rectangle and I do feel ready to make a scarf. There’s a hooded sweater that I’m hoping to make this winter, after the holidays. It’s not as daunting as I feared even though it will take me a long long time to do it.

Today I made two dozen birthday cupcakes for Lexy to share with his second grade class. I made them from scratch because I used to work in a restaurant and can’t use a mix. Just can’t. I know too many pastry chefs I suppose. So, there was whipping of egg whites, and melting of chocolate, and lots of vanilla paste. I even mixed up my own baking powder rather than face the store with the kids. I was already talking myself out of opening a cold beer before lunchtime after Willow snagged some unsalted butter and baking chocolate that I’d left out to soften up while I showered. She came into the bathroom with her face in the middle of a stick of butter saying, “YUM!!” Nate helped me out since I was too soapy to grab her. Sophie also helped by breaking an egg on the floor and getting flour and sugar everywhere. Still, the cupcakes came out well. I made chocolate and vanilla (with the vanilla paste and almond extract) and vanilla and chocolate buttercream frosting. I even decorated with some colored sugar sprinkles. Go me.

And I was all over that beer, and it’s neighbor, come 5 pm.