My PG-13 almost 4 year old

Willow thinks it’s really funny to shuck her diaper and run around the house yelling, "Tinky butt!"  (stinky butt)  This is what happens to any two year old with two older brothers and a truly disgusting older sister.  So Willow is running about bottomless and she decides to jump on the couch.  I go grab another diaper and when I get back, Sophie has her nose in her sister’s bottom. 

Sophie tries my patience.  Really.

I told Sophie that it’s not a good idea to put your fingers or your face where there could be poop because it tends to make people sick.  I told her she might get worms in her belly, just to drive the point home.  Later on, she was telling one of her "grandma" stories.  The grandma in these stories is fictional,  though she has no shortage of real grandmothers (four, counting step-parents, plus four great grandmothers).  The pretend grandmother lives in Toledo, Ohio (I think that’s from a sesamieee street story, since she’s never been to Ohio) and does things like catch sharks in the lake and go to space in rockets.  Okay, back to the story then.  The grandma story that she told, just to the air to try it out, went like this:  "One time, my grandma, she was licking my grandpa’s butt.  Den she gets wurrms and hasta go toa hopital." 

Her preschool teachers are going to have me arrested if the photo place doesn’t beat them to it.

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