I have several stories from my trip that I want to write down before I forget them; but first I have to tell one from tonight.  If I had the camera (if I had a hammer), I’d have some evidence to go with, but instead I will just describe.  If you read this page, you may know about the egg events of late. 

This is much worse.

The boys had a ton of challenging homework to do.  Lex is in the middle of a book he can’t put down, and Nate is on a game boy kick.  Homework doing didn’t occur until nearly 7 pm, which is too late in my book, but the best I could do.  I had the living room cleaned up and vacuumed, the girls were plugged into the lit-L mer maide, and I was in the boys’ room helping them figure out the difficult bits.  I went to check on the girls.  Willow was sitting in front of the television with a box of crackers (I forgot to put them up after supper) and a fairly new, and more importantly, OPEN, jar of mayonnaise. 

I know!

She was COVERED in greasy mayo grease.  Her face.  Her hair.  Her bare legs.  Gleaming one and all.  Shining like a bodybuilder’s greased up shaved skin at a competition.  (and I know, I have been to one of those before)  So, we had an emergency bath, along with a little yelling and laughing, because, MAYO!  It is both worse than and funnier than eggs.  Maybe.  Sophie swore her innocence, but I found two big old soup spoons on the kids’ table and they both had partly-sucked gobs of mayo in them.  I think she was the mastermind.  They both eat butter, so this is not a stretch.  All is well now.  I am drinking a beer, though. 

Okay then.  One texas story before I sleep.

See this guy, with the hat?


We were waiting for our connecting flight in denver and we were sitting in these little church pew type seats, glazed eyes fixed on the tv news.  And then this cowboy (only not the good, lean, appealing kind of cowboy, but the head up his ass kind) he struck up a conversation with a fella and they stood there RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN.  Nobody, in all twelve rows wide enough for thirty people, could see.  And he stood there for a good half hour while my mom and I, and eventually the guy a few seats down from us, made fun of him.  My remark about him was, of course, HE IS JUST LIKE MY KIDS.  My mom said "you make a better door than a window," and luckily he didn’t hear her and chase us up the escalator or something.  On second thought, look at him.  I totally could’ve taken him out. 

More tomorrow. 

4 thoughts on “storytime

  1. still life

    Ohhh Yech! I just cannot stomach mayonaise…
    Wait until Dixie sees this, she will go nuts.
    She puys mayo on peanut butter sandwiches, and that’s just wrong.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *