The Grossest Story

I really felt like I needed to post about what just happened, about what I just had to clean up, but I deleted it because it was far too disgusting.  Instead, I will relate some lighthearted (and shit-free) stories about Willow.

I have this pit bull of a stomach virus. There is a lot of PAIN along with the barf and the queasy.  (Uh, the story about the brimstone shit everywhere wasn’t about me. Except for the role of "the cleaner.")  Anyhow, around lunchtime on Monday, I was really hungry.  Nothing sounded good, but I thought I could handle one of the vegan trail mix cookies from Trader Joe’s.  Willow saw mine and demanded one.  I told her I thought she wouldn’t like it, and broke off a piece for her.  No.  She wanted a whole one, which I gave to her.  She took a small bite, handed me back the cookie and told me straight up, "Mama.  These are for DOGS!"

Damn.  I forgot the other story.  I only remember that it was good.  Too bad.  Willow hasn’t been feeling well, and when she feels bad she asks for a bubble bath.  When she was ready to get out, she said, "Mama, will you take care-a-me?"  I said, "Sure," and wrapped her in a towel and picked her up.  She wriggled and cried to get down, so I set her down.  "Please, take care-a-me," she cried.  This went back and forth for a few minutes, until I told her that I didn’t know what she wanted.  Finally, I picked her up again, and she twisted herself in my arms until I was holding her cradled like a newborn.  "Now you take care-a-me," she said, and rubbed her cheek into my chest and sighed. 

I must get some rest so I can try and get to the gym in four hours or so.  I may just use the exercise bike so I can strap a tupperware bowl to the handlebars in case of a relapse. 


6 thoughts on “The Grossest Story

  1. Jenijen

    There is no more, but originally there was and I’m too tired to figure out how to make the link go away. I apologize for the inconvience.

  2. marian

    Let’s see. Caring for four kids and a household. Cleaning up poop, barfing, eating a cookie, blog, sleep for four hours and then off to the gym? Have you no self-pity whatsoever?

  3. Dixie

    Bless your bones, I hate that you’ve been so sick. What’s the deal with this virus? I’ve had it over here too, a half a world away.


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