alright already

What do you call it when your day nickels and dimes you to death, but not financially, just, peskily?  It’s HOT outside, and I seem to be retaining five pounds of fluid (mostly in my face) because of this poison oak adventure.  The kids will. not. stop. bickering.  I had a satisfying fantasy this afternoon where I walked out to the street with them and then, one at a time, drop kicked them over the houses across the street and into the field behind.

When I was changing over the laundry, I saw a puddle.  And, I was all, "Oh my!  Someone must have dropped an ice cube under the washer.  It CANNOT be leaking because it is new." 

Oh, but it is!  Leaking all over the place.  John called
(because I thought I’d cry if I did it, really) and left a message so
they can call us sometime to schedule a repair visit on July 28th.  I
will not be here.  I will be at BlogHer.   In really smelly clothes.
(No, really I will go to my mom’s to do washing.) 

While I was mopping up the puddle, I broke my pinky fingernail way way
way down low.  I have a Fantastic 4 bandaid keeping it together for

Nathan had to have some bloodwork done today, so he and I went to take care of it.   He has new health insurance, and the lab is not one I’ve ever been to.  There are dozens of locations, all printed on the back of the requisition slip.  My doctor helpfully circled one that’s really close to her office.  The address said, "234 Lost Cheeto Blvd."  (not the real street name. duh.) and we got onto Lost Cheeto Blvd. at the 15,000 block.  The way we were driving, the numbers were getting smaller, but I knew that the street changed names really soon.  I called the lab and said, "Hi, I wonder if you could help me find your lab?  I’m on Lost Cheeto Blvd and can’t find you.  What is your cross street?"

The woman said, "LOST CHEETO BLVD??!!!??  We ARE NOT on that street, we are on Lost Cheeto — Sparrowtoe Road."

"OH!" I said, "Okay.  You aren’t on Lost Cheeto, you are on Lost Cheeto –Sparrowtoe.  Is the number 234?"

"Yes," said the liar liar pants on fire hanging from a telephone wire woman. 

Nate and I spent a big chunk of time looking for the place, but there is no 234 on the LCS road.  We even parked at 248, got out and walked around to see if it was behind other buildings.  Not there.  I’m thinking that they ARE on Lost Cheeto and that LCS is the cross street, but instead of testing that theory, we just headed over to the nearby hospital that was also listed on the lab slip. 

You know, the hospital that’s on the road that’s closed today for resurfacing!  We finally got there, parked and went in.  To the oncology and radiology building.  Next, we walked over to the main hospital and finally !!  got to the lab, where we saw this sign on the door that said, "Effective July 18, the Snafford Lab will be located at (other location which closes in ten minutes OR other location which closes in forty minutes)."

Nate was starving, so we hit the vending machine for chips and orange soda and walked back to the car.  "The lab is right by where Dr. F’s old office is," I STUPIDLY said.  Dr. F was Nate’s (and Willow’s) pediatric ophthalmologist.  He did Nate’s eye surgery when he was three years old.  He died last fall, and I was so so so so sad that I didn’t tell the kids.  I think Lex knows, and I thought Nate had found out since then, but he hadn’t.  He asked me if Dr. F was still alive and I told him that he died last year. 

Nate was heartbroken.  He cried and cried while we drove.  I heard him very softly say, "I just wanna go home."  So, we did and tomorrow we’ll go to the other location lab and get his blood draw done. 

Now I’m going to pour a glass of TwoBuckChuck and get supper made. 


Oh, yeah!  Also, Willow got stung by a bee!  Today was ick.

updated, again!

But wait!  There’s more!  I just poured boiling water on my foot while draining the pasta!

15 thoughts on “alright already

  1. jess

    Sometimes i put all four kids in the car turn it and the air conditioning on and then shut the doors and just sit outside for a few minutes and enjoy the silence.

    See you next week! Ha!

  2. jenny r

    HATE it when that happens!

    We were driving down a road, once, and a nice couple asked directions to a bar and they had the address. Problem was, the road connected and disconnected all over town. We had them following us all over and never quite made it. It was a mystery.

    Oh, and I used to have similar fantasies about horrid coworkers. My plan of disposal had to get rid of them but cause no physical pain or permanent harm. I thought, while one was out smoking, I’d kick her butt over the terrace and into a passing garbage truck.

  3. mamadaisy

    good lord, that sounds territble. in the most selfish response possible, thank you for making my lousy day seem good in comparison.

    i hope everyone is having better luck and feeling better soon!

  4. Mary Tsao

    It’s this heat. It’s making life unbearably difficult.

    Can’t wait to see you! I was going to say give you a hug, but with your poison oak… I don’t know about that. 🙂

    Can’t wait to buy you an iced tea.

  5. meghan

    I hope things have improved. It seems that when it rains, it pours. Like a sick way of testing our endurance and our mental health limitations. Oy.


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