34/37×365: Tom

You grabbed me in the parking lot and wouldn’t let me go.  It hurt.  I’d been sure not to meet you alone.  It was that damn Kundera you were reading when we met, it clouded my judgment.

I’m participating in x365

Hmmm.  Another one that has to have more than 37 words.  I met Tom in
college, at the coffee shop where I used to study  He was reading The
Unbearable Lightness of Being, which is the only reason that I didn’t
have someplace else to be when he started talking to me.  Something
about him scared me.  Probably it was the fact that he looked like a
linebacker and was so strong.  He kept asking me out and I kept saying
no.  Finally I agreed to let him come meet me at a bar where I was
shooting pool after work with my friends (huh. total pang for childfree
days brought on by memory of playing pool in a dive bar. wtf?). 

I decided that I needed to get home, and he walked me outside.  He
tried to kiss me and I turned my head so he’d just get my cheek.  He
didn’t like that.  So, he started talking, telling me how much he liked
me, and backed me up into the car.  He put his arms around me and I
could. not. move.  I tried to get away, and he held me so tightly that
I was barely able to breathe.  I was so angry and not just at him.
Feeling helpless always makes me mad, and this was partly my fault.  I should have seen it coming.  It
was a really awful situation to be in, and I think about it at the
weirdest times.  I recall that sensation sometimes when I’m scared of
other things, how it felt to be completely trapped by someone bigger
and stronger.

He only let me go because there were other people around.  I know that.  I was finally able to twist out of his arms and I drove home, shaking.  I parked my car and then threw up in the driveway.  For the rest of my time at school, I avoided him.  I more than avoided him — I hid from him.  The worst part is that he was reading the book for a class.

2 thoughts on “34/37×365: Tom

  1. mamasutra

    I had a creepy Kundera experience too. Fortunately, it was web based as he lived in another city.
    I feel weird complimenting your writing when the subject is so awful, but you totally nailed it. If I see him, I’m going to kick him…hard…you can guess where.


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