So, I just had the best ever idea while I was standing in the shower in my jeans and old maternity tshirt (I like to get my money’s worth, you know) scrubbing the glass doors and the tiles and the damn grout with bleach and a green nylon scrubby sponge. I was standing there, my eyes and lungs b u r n i n g, and I thought, "Hmmm. It would be so great if bleach made you high! Think of all the fun I’d be having!" And then, a giant orange (my favorite color) light bulb went off over my head and I thought, "I’m going to invent and market a cleaner that gets you stoned!! It’s going to be called ‘Mother’s Little Helper!’ I’m going to be so rich!!"
My eyes STILL sting, but the shower is cleaner. And, considering that midway through my project I shucked all my clothes so I could turn on the water and stand there naked and scrub ALL the soap scum off the glass doors and rinse everything down really well with an elderly plastic cup from Chilli’s, maybe bleach DOES get you high. Maybe it gets me high, anyway.