Who am I and what have I done with myself?

morning run

I took this picture with my phone while I was out for a walk/run yesterday morning.  I?  Am *not* a runner, but I’m doing the Couch to 5K thing anyway.  I can’t keep kidding myself that a few hours of power yoga a month is going to give me a healthy heart (and by “give me a healthy heart” you know I mean “get rid of the spare tire and saddlebags that appeared, as if by magic, when I turned forty a couple of years back.”).
I bought Very Expensive running shoes because I am old and creaky and I need to not wreck myself.  I got two pair of running pants, which are tight and not flattering (yet), and I got an Under Armour medium-impact sports bra.  Turns out what I really should have bought was some kind of sports bra for my ass.  I guess the last time I ran in 2005 there was just less that needed to be compressed and contained back there.  On my first day of Couch to 5K, yesterday before work, I drove to the park so I could look at the pretty scenery (and not have any neighbors see me) while I did my thing.  I had a pocket pack of Kleenex, because running=snot, and my iPhone with headphones so I could listen to music and hear the lady tell me when to walk and when to run.  I didn’t have any pockets or an armband phone holster, so I just carried my phone and kleenex.  (Dork)
I did the five minute warmup walk, and then it was time to jog.  Holy.Shit.  I am so out of shape, it turns out, that jogging for a minute was really hard and I sort of thought I was going to die.  But I did it, and the longer I did the intervals of walking/jogging, the easier the jogging became.  I passed a bunch of other people out on the trail — walkers, runners, bikers, rollerbladers, a birdwatcher — and one of the lady runners was carrying her phone, too, and she had on all of the things (fancy pants, a hat, the right shoes and shirt and stuff), so I felt less dumb carrying my phone.
When I was done I felt really great.  I even jogged a little longer than the app told me to, because I was still far from the car and needed to get going.  I decided then that instead of running three days a week, I’d go every single day and be in great shape in no time.  And then I woke up today and my thighs were all DO NOT MOVE YOUR LEGS, so I decided to take today off and go try again tomorrow morning.  That gives me today to make a better running playlist (yesterday I just had random songs, which was kind of cool because I got to run to Ira Hayes by Johnny Cash and that’s totally going on my playlist now), AND to go back to the store and look for some running panties.

3 thoughts on “Who am I and what have I done with myself?

  1. Sara

    I need to get my arse out and walk (running/jogging would kill it).
    Good luck finding running panties (that makes me LOL).
    You need Kleenex when you exercise too? When I used to walk more often, I always had to bring a wad with me. I liked trash day because then I could just slip used tissues in people’s garbage cans as I passed by, cuz who likes carrying used Kleenex around?

  2. Skye

    When I look at my sister’s ass, I want to run like she does. When I think about getting up at 5am like she does to run, and how many different injuries she’s managed from running, I really really do not.


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